Nothing Else Matters
by Lady Aglaya
Summary: Inspired by Lee Mead song of same name. A kind of sequel to Just Once. Told from Owen's perspective Owen has to deal with Toshiko's death. His feelings of grief, guilt...and love.
1. Chapter 1 Did I ever let you know?

Chapter One – Did I ever let you know?

The tiny group all huddled around the single computer to watch the final message their friend had left them. Even in death Toshiko was organised and brilliant, from the ether of cyberspace she had managed to leave this final piece of herself. To comfort her friends. To say goodbye. It was with heavy hearts they watched, it was like she was alive again back to her usual sweet adorable professional self. But when it ended she would be gone again.

"And Owen, you never knew...I love you"

Awed silence took hold of the group watching the screen. As if she knew the reaction these final words of hers had caused Toshiko smiled, nodded once as if to say "There, that's enough" and moved to end the recording. The screen went blank and Toshiko was gone once again.

One pair of eyes remained fixed to the screen unable to look away. Shock and sorrow were etched into this pair of eyes, a haunted look. The rest of the group shifted uncomfortably glancing at this person but then discreetly moved away leaving them alone by the computer. The eyes continued to stare until finally they closed...and Owen Harper thought he never wanted to open them again.

A deep breath and slowly Owen opened his eyes and stared down at the gravestone. He'd managed to block out everything over the last few days. He gone through the motions, carried on at work, attended the memorial service and even managed to get some sleep albeit for only 2 hours a time. He had only managed to do all this because he hadn't allowed himself to think, to remember. He'd gone around his flat like a zombie switching on the TV and the radio to drown out the voices, the images, the memories.

But this couldn't last and he knew that he was going to have to confront this sooner or later. And so he had chosen here to confront it all, to confront her really. He could have chosen the Torchwood morgue of course where her body was held as was Torchwood regulation, but no he had chosen her faux grave. He wanted to be alone and this quite cemetery was peaceful and empty. Here it was just her as well, Toshiko, not tainted by the all reaching influence of Torchwood that reached in and strangled all their lives. Torchwood had taken enough from her, Owen thought, let her have this tiny piece of herself.

The dark feelings of pain, regret, loss, guilt and despair were all resurfacing inside him as he allowed the gates of his memory to open. The first memory was her confession. The shock he felt at the time had subsided slightly but confusion and disbelief remained.

"Why Tosh?" he seemed to ask the gravestone "What the hell did you see in me to love?"

He honestly never had any suspicion of Tosh's true feelings towards him. He had quite clearly been blind. He knew she fancied him and winced when he recalled how he used to despise her for it and torture her by holding out on her. It wasn't as if she weren't attractive or anything, now he thought about it she was really quite well...beautiful, but for some reason her obvious schoolgirl adoration seemed to repel him. So he pushed her away. Brutally.

Now it seemed he had misinterpreted all those looks he thought were pity, all those gestures he thought were sappy adoration, all that constant need to draw him out he found so bloody irritating. All of it now took on a different light. She wasn't just messing around, she loved him. And he had treated her like shit.

Owen let out a defeated sigh and stared up at the sky. It was grey and overcast and was threatening to rain. His mind however would not let him rest and more memories were surging to the forefront. He recalled the last few months after the disaster with him opening the rift and everything that followed it. He now realised that something had shifted slightly in his relationship with Tosh from that moment on. He wasn't aware of it at the time but now looking back he saw how much closer he had gotten to Tosh and the reason for it.

She had been a constant friend when he needed it the most. He was so messed up in his own head after that day, feelings of pain and loss over Diane, feelings of guilt and regret over Jack and the whole sorry mess he had released onto the world after opening up the rift. All this was still fermenting inside of him in the days following and he wondered if he could ever show his face at Torchwood again.

But Tosh had wordlessly healed him by letting him know that she was there for him whenever he needed her. He saw now that he did need her then, badly and so he took all she offered. She was probably in recent years his best friend though he would never have admitted it. After joining Torchwood he seemed to drift away from his other friends outside, he'd still meet up with them but the old Owen had gone replaced with a brand new bitter cynical one which his old friends didn't have time for and which the new Owen didn't really care for anymore.

That only left Torchwood itself, Jack was always good for a laugh now and then but he was supremely irritating with all the constant and none too subtle innuendos. He never really seemed to connect with Ianto either he wasn't a bad bloke but he always seemed a little distant. Then he got shacked up with Jack so there was no sense to be got out of either of them then. Then of course there was Gwen. Even now he didn't quite know why that all came about. This job was just one huge mind fuck sometimes that you just needed to let it all out and Gwen had needed it too. But when it came down to it he was probably trying to find connection with someone the only way he knew how, through sex. But it didn't work. He and Gwen were not a fit and in the end it had ended as it should have done.

But Tosh was different she was a true friend. She laughed with him, helped him at work, put up with his constant mood swings and gave him the support he so desperately needed. She kept him going and he never even bothered to thank her. To let her know how much she appreciated having her in his life.

Owen blinked. _You are such a selfish bastard, you know that. _But he didn't really need to tell himself that. He lived with that knowledge everyday of his life but somehow it bothered him even more when he thought of Tosh. She deserved better and a sad bitter smile came across his face. For he knew what the next memory would be. Tommy.

The handsome young soldier who had swept Toshiko off her feet. He remembered being unsettled at the time when he saw how hard she had fallen for him. He didn't understand at the time but he told himself it was partly because he saw her getting hurt like he had with Diane. Lovers from the past would always end up hurting you and on some unconscious level he resented Tommy for this. It was bad enough he hurt her all the time but the thought of the guy doing it set him on edge.

But if he was being honest, and why not now just for once, the deeper reason he was unsettled by Tommy and Toshiko was the selfish desire to be the sole holder of her affection. Sure he only saw her as a friend but he was completely hers, she gave him her undivided attention and he had grown reliant on it. But then Tommy came along and he could do nothing but look on fearing he would lose her. He knew he should be happy for her, he could give her what he couldn't. He could love her. _And if you loved her more you would have let her go, let her be happy despite what you felt _he said to himself. He tried comforting her when Tommy went back to 1918 but he knew he was really comforting himself. Making sure she was OK so they could go back to the way they were before. Exactly the way he wanted it, friends.

"I'm sorry Tosh"

Some friend he had been to her. His memory mercilessly recalled for him an endless processions of the times he'd callously hurt her, abused her friendship all to make himself feel better. Making fun of her. Shouting at her. Ignoring her. Yet she was always there, always by his side when he needed her most.

Owen felt his head was going to explode soon. He gripped his hair with both his hands and the onslaught his mind was giving him. The floodgates were open now though and there was no way he could stop it. He prayed he wouldn't relive the one thing though that he knew was coming.

"Please not that, anything but that again" he whimpered as he seemed to curl up and was down on his knees before the grave stone.

It was no use though. He would've lived through all these torturous images over and over if it meant he didn't have to see that, remember that. His final betrayal of her. Letting her die.

Cardiff shopping centre on a busy Saturday lunchtime. People everywhere and then there were the four figures seamlessly running through the crowd following a hooded figure making its way out to the street. Gwen and Jack were running up on the higher gangways while Tosh and Owen were forcing their way down on the ground. Over the comms Jack's voice called

"Tosh, Owen I see him heading for the maintenance office. Follow him and try and calm him down. Gwen and I are going to make our way down and cut him off from behind down the service stairs."

"We're on it Jack" replied a breathless Toshiko as her and Owen spotted their target sneaking through the plain mirror covered door inconspicuous amongst all the shop fronts. They dived in after him, guns at the ready but stopped. Their target had his arm clamped around the throat of the small security guard and held a gun to his head.

"Drop the gun, you're not going anyway" shouted Owen

There was such desperation in their target's eyes that for an instant a flicker of sympathy passed over the Torchwood officers. To anyone passing by the young man with the gun in his hands looked like a normal teenager. Nineteen maybe, long greasy blond hair which covered his eyes so he had to constantly flick it out of his eyes in order to see. University of Cardiff hoodie and baggy jeans with the crotch pulled to just above his knees, he looked like an ordinary Welsh student. He even cried out in a pitch perfect Welsh accent.

"Stay back or I'll blow his brains out"

The boy was shifting nervously, uncomfortably on his two feet, panic and despair clear in his face. He had the air of a terrified mouse backed into a corner. But he still had a gun and right now it was dangerously close to an innocent man's temple.

"I know you don't want to do that. This isn't the answer it's not going to solve anything" said Toshiko in a soothing voice.

"I can't go back" cried the boy, tears streaming down his face. "Please you have no idea what it was like for me."

"You can't stay here, I'm sorry but you don't have clearance for asylum. We gotta send you back" replied Owen sensing this was only seconds away from getting out of control.

"NO" wailed the boy, full blown hyperventilating sobs being wrenched painfully from his chest. "You have no idea what it was like back on my planet, the things they did to you, the...I CAN'T PLEASE."

"I'm sorry, I truly am but there is nothing we can do. Give me the gun...please" said Toshiko softly. She moved slowly towards the boy gun down, hand stretched.

For a moment, just one moment, as Owen watched he thought she had him. It looked like the boy was going surrender. But it passed, Owen realised with a terrifying horror Tosh had seriously underestimated how desperate this kid was. But it happened too fast and all he could do was watch. The boy swung the gun around and it was trained on Toshiko.

"I won't let you send me back" he screamed as he fired and Toshiko fell to the ground.

A split second later Jack and Gwen burst through the doors behind the boy and Jack shot him once through the head. After that Owen was only vaguely aware of what was happening around him. Jack barking orders, Gwen comforting the security guard with a packet of retcon ready in her hands but all Owen was focussed on was Toshiko on the ground.

He reached her in a second and knelt down on the ground clamping his hands over her chest wound trying desperately to stop the bleeding. His medical brain was working on overdrive but somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it was all over. The bullet had gone straight through the lower atrium of her heart. She was practically dead already. But Owen refused to stop he held down harder willing her blood to stop screaming at Jack to get an ambulance now. He had to save her what was the point in being a doctor if he couldn't even save Tosh.

Her heart was fluttering under his hands, her blood was seeping through his fingers and then it was over. She was gone. Just like that.

He'd blamed Jack for not turning up sooner, he blamed the kid who'd killed her, he blamed her for being so bloody stupid. But in the end he realised he could only blame himself. Kneeling here at her grave he silently begged for her forgiveness. It was all his fault. _I shouldn't have let you die. _

He was gripping the stone now with one hand, his head rested on the top. He wasn't crying but he couldn't get up, he couldn't move. He felt complete and utter despair.

Minutes maybe even an hour had passed and he still didn't move. Then from the corner of his eye he noticed that a small figure was walking in his direction. Weary and knowing that he should probably be making his way back home now he got up to his feet.

He turned his head casually to glance at the figure walking his way. It was a small woman dressed in what appeared to be a gothic black leather dress. Her hair was also long and black and hung listlessly down from her head. She looked cute and petite and had wide blue eyes which seemed to be fixed directly to his face. Even more strange they seemed to be filled with what he could only interpret as anger.

The small woman had now reached him and stood two feet away glaring up at him. Owen was confused and turned around slightly so that they were facing each other. He was quite sure he had never seen her before but this woman obviously knew him. Owen had no energy to try and figure it out. He didn't want to deal with anything right now and was about to ask what this woman wanted when she spoke and the words froze him dead.

"Well Owen, you've well and truly fucked this up haven't you?"


	2. Chapter 2 The Stranger called Natasha

Chapter Two – The stranger called Natasha

"Excuse me" was all Owen could manage to say. He stared down in utter confusion at this woman. What the hell was her problem and more importantly how in the world did she know his name?

"You heard me, you've really gone and messed things up good."

She had the faintest hint of an accent, Australian perhaps, but at the moment her voice was at an ultra high pitched level to vent off her frustration so it was hard to tell.

"I mean why you can't leave things well alone I don't know" she continued as she seemed to step gingerly over the damp grass and bend down to peer intently at Toshiko's gravestone. She let out a huge defeated sigh and turned her head to look up at Owen and said in a calmer matter of fact tone.

"Is she really dead? It's not an elaborate Torchwood cover story or something?"

Oh yes definitely Australian now she had calmed down. Hold on.

"Who the hell are you?" snapped Owen. "How do you know about Torchwood?"

"I believe I asked a question first and it is rather important. You see I can't tell for sure for some reason. Normally I can keep a track on her but in this warped timeline nothing seems to make sense. So is she really dead or not?"

Despite himself Owen found himself blurting out "Yeah, Tosh is dead"

The woman groaned and hung her head her arms resting on her knees. She was obviously deep in thought and then finally she spoke from this position.

"Oh I am in so much trouble" she groaned. She straightened up and started pacing back and forth in front of the grave stone. Nervously muttering to herself, her hands twitching and gesticulating in front of her, Owen watched her in stunned silence.

"How can this happen? Nothing makes sense here. I can't seem to control anything. Why don't the events change? Why can't I change things?" she turned and seemed to say this last remark to Owen, pleading in her voice as if she was asking him of all people for an explanation.

But then the pleading in her face dissolved and slowly it was replaced by the anger he had first seen on her face.

"That has to be it. This _is_ your fault, all of it" she angrily shouted.

Owen suddenly snapped out of his stunned silence replaced with anger of his own.

"Alright listen, I've just about had enough of you. So you either tell me who the fuck you are right now or I drag your arse out of here and away from Tosh's grave. You know what never mind I'm just gonna do the second option anyway" shouted Owen as he began to step towards the strange tiny woman.

"Stop" she held out her hand at arm's length to stop Owen "Don't touch me, I'm sorry, look I'll tell you all you want to know please, just don't touch me at all, God knows where we'd end up if I'm not concentrating. And I tend to lack concentration when I'm scared."

She spoke quickly, stumbling slightly backwards, something akin to fear or uneasiness in her eyes. Owen stopped but he loomed over her his breathing hard but restrained, his eyes boring into hers. Demanding answers. Fast.

"Who are you?" was all he could trust himself to say. God help her if she didn't give him a straight answer, the state he was in he was likely to do anything.

"I go by the name Natasha" a small flicker of a smile came across her face as she continued "it kind of stuck from the time I first spoke to her."

"What was Tosh to you?" Owen stated rather too quickly and brusquely.

Natasha stared up at him and said with a casual shrug "She is my whole reason for existence."

Owen didn't know what he was expecting this woman to say but this completely threw him off. He was stunned for a moment or two. Was this woman in love with Tosh? Of course there had been Mary (yeah and we all know how that ended) but he didn't know Tosh was seeing anyone else recently...

"Urgh, no no not like that. God you don't understand, I wasn't her lover." Natasha replied hastily jolting Owen from his internal ramblings.

_She just read my mind._ Owen suddenly recoiled away from Natasha and stood back looking at her like she was the devil himself. He swiftly removed the gun from his back pocket and trained it on Natasha's head. Panic and fear dictating his every action.

"Easy Owen, calm down" said Natasha, her arms outstretched clearly trying to diffuse this potentially fatal situation. "I'll explain everything I know....which won't take long because I am really confused."

Slowly Owen lowered his gun, the panic and fear seeping away and being replaced by his semi permanent state these days of numbing apathy. What did it all care anymore? The one pressing reality of any consequence was that Tosh was dead and nothing was going change that. Suddenly strangely disinterested in answers anymore Owen simply said

"Go on"

"OK I'm gonna keep this really short and simple for two reasons. One your intellect (no offense I mean all human intellect not just yours) is far too primitive and limited to comprehend all that we are and do and to be honest you'd rather not know anyway. Second time is quite literally of the essence here so I need to keep this short and trying to get you to understand every tiny thing would take far too long and..."

"You know this would all go a hell of a lot quicker if you ever actually got to the point" replied an annoyed and by now bored Owen.

Natasha was taken aback by this and then proceeded to glare at Owen menacingly. A look of ill concealed loathing which Owen had seen many a time on women who usually found themselves in his bed a few hours later.

"That's right keep imagining it because it ain't ever happening for real. Urgh" replied a disgusted Natasha.

"Just get on with it for fuck's sake" wailed Owen.

"Fine" shouted back Natasha who then proceeded in a calmer though still hostile tone, "I am what you would call a timeline guardian and have been assigned, as have all such as me, three life entities to watch over and protect the innumerable tangents of their existence. Basically if something happens it shouldn't, or something that's meant to happen looks like it won't – then I fix it and set it right."

Owen just stared at the small woman. His face was a blank stare of confusion. He'd encountered a lot of weird seemingly impossible things while at Torchwood but none had ever been as ...well...ludicrous as this.

"So what you saying...you're like some kind of fairy godmother or something?" Owen hazily replied.

Natasha snorted and looked away in disgust.

"That is a particularly derogatory term which my kind find extremely insulting. But if that's all you can handle it will have to do."

"So do I have my own _fairy godmother _then" replied Owen now clearly enjoying tormenting Natasha.

"Hmm very funny" said Natasha drily as she returned to face him "all life forms have a timeline guardian responsible for the well being of their numerous timelines. My three charges are an Apalician Nyma-Fly, he doesn't take much work seeing as though there are only so many options his life can go what with only having a one day life span, then there is a Zygon and finally Toshiko. The allocations are completely random and can span to include any life form in the entire Universe from any time period."

"That's all very fascinating but if I'm really to believe that we're all Cinderellas in some vast cosmic version of a warped fairy story then why haven't I ever met my fairy godmother?"

Natasha's face suddenly drained slightly and her head dropped, Owen got the distinct impression that she was not entirely confident of her position all of a sudden.

"Well it's probably because contact with your assigned life forms is strictly (and I mean strictly) forbidden." Natasha replied sheepishly.

"Huh, who's the one that messed up now?"

"Alright look, yes OK I broke the rules one time but I didn't do all this" Natasha waved her arms around her pointing to everything. "But if they find out about this warped totally fucked up shouldn't even have been contemplated alternate timeline then I am finished. I'll be kicked out and forced to go rogue like Bilis did all those centuries ago..." Natasha trailed off as she saw the growing murderous look in Owen's eyes.

"Bilis Manger" Owen said dangerously slow as if stopping himself from gagging on the words.

"In all the excitement I'd forgotten. Now Owen stay calm alright, yes Bilis used to be one of us but now..."

"Bilis Manger, and you're just like him" Owen stated rather than posed as a question. The mere mention of that name brought it all back. The sinister evil little man who had tricked him into opening up the rift, unleashing hell and causing all that destruction and now another of his kind had come to torment him.

"Do you have any idea what I've been through?" The consuming life sucking poisonous guilt that had been eating away at him for months and almost driven him mad. A surge of uncontrollable violence was rising up in him, he needed to let it out, he'd repressed it especially since Tosh's death but now there was no way to stop him from lashing out.

"And you dare to say that Tosh's death was my fault?" he screamed at Natasha.

"Well it was...in part" conceded Natasha but she had grossly misjudged the moment, her limited experience with humans had not prepared her this dangerous escalation in Owen. She was not aware of how close he was to snapping and so was caught completely off guard as he lunged toward her.

"I'LL KILL YOU" screamed Owen who'd lost all rational thought he was only feeling how helpless he had been to stop Tosh, the one truly good person in his life, from dying and now here was a way, however small to make up for it. Such is the logic of a mind gripped by deep despairing grief.

Natasha had no time to react all she did was scream for him to stop and held out her hands for him to stop as a second later he cannoned into her and the force was such that both of them were sent falling to the ground.


	3. Chapter 3 The Hours Have Faded

Chapter Three – The Hours Have Faded

They both hit the ground with less of a thud than either had anticipated. Owen was on top of Natasha his hands gripped tightly around her throat and Natasha's own hands desperately clawing at his trying to get him to release her. But a second after impact both stared into each other's faces and both knew that something wasn't right. That was when they both turned their heads and saw that it wasn't the ground of the cemetery where they had landed.

Staring at the tattered fabric of a worn out sofa the creeping realisation of where they were was confirmed by looking up and finding the painted word TORCHWOOD emblazoned on the old subterranean brick wall. Owen sprung up off of Natasha and sat across from her while she sat up and clutching her throat and coughing. Owen looked around frantically.

"What the...where the hell are we?"

"Geez I really think even you...can figure that one out" wheezed out Natasha in between coughs.

"Alright cut the attitude, so we're in the hub but how did we get here?"

"Well, when you went all psycho on me back there I didn't have time to concentrate. I shift through time with someone by touching them but I need to be focusing on exactly where I want to go otherwise...otherwise we could end up anywhere."

Around them time seemed to be moving at a faster than normal pace. Everything was on fast forward and Owen could only just make out the figures of the rest of the team rushing around doing their jobs totally oblivious to time's unnatural acceleration.

"Alright then when are we?" asked Owen still looking around squinting hoping that would somehow allow him to cut through the speed and see what was going on.

Natasha held up her hand and waved it once to the left as if calling for an imaginary audience to cease their applause. Instead of applause stopping however time did, the figures that had been dashing around at an alarming speed seconds before where now motionless. Frozen.

"Hold on a second while I scan this timeline to see where we are, I can normally tell as soon as I arrive but this place is weird or perhaps it's just you who threw me off. Don't try that again alright dumbass, this time we were lucky but it could've been a hell of a lot worse."

She stood up and moved to the centre of the raised platform behind the bank of workstations. Owen was about to protest against her increased, and in his view out of line, hostility but she held out her hand to him as if to warn him off.

"Quiet" she hissed and then proceeded to shut her eyes and remain silent.

Owen was still sitting on the sofa and while Natasha was taken up with her silent contemplation he decided to have a look at his now still surroundings. However still wasn't quite the right word, the figures weren't exactly moving but everything was definitely jarring. The overall effect would be that of an old video stuck on pause. There was something else as too, everything had a strange almost undetectable noxious silver hue.

His eyes moved onto other things that confused him as he came face to face with himself. Yet he was different, he was...

"Am I wearing Tosh's glasses?" Owen asked in bewilderment.

This Owen was very different to the one he saw in the mirror every morning. Besides from the thick black frame geeky glasses, there was an almost pathetic puppy dog look on his face. Now Owen really was confused and followed this other Owen's line of vision to see what had turned him into such a quivering drip. His breath seemed to completely leave him in one not unpleasant gasp of shock.

"Uh, WOW" said Owen as his gaze fell upon a dazzling vision of Toshiko.

For Toshiko it must have been for it was her face, her body, but she was completely different to any other time he had seen her. Her dark hair was swept up from her face in a loose provocative ponytail, her face wore an expression of cool, sultry, haughty control as she peered intently, but in no way all consuming like she used to, at her screen. She was standing leaning against her desk at maximum seduction advantage, her small frame on show in a sedate but clingy dress for anyone who cared to see and right now Owen, both Owens it would seem, very much cared to see.

Owen was still ogling this new...yeah there was no other word for her..._sexy_ version of Tosh when he was snapped awake by Natasha's grating voice as she came out of her trance.

"Oh, right OK. I know which timeline we are in, rather a good one actually. Gwen gets married, along with a little disturbance with a shape shifter, Jack and Ianto get caught naked in the hothouse, Jack's brother Gray comes and tries to destroy you all, oh and get this you die... twice." Natasha adds gleefully adding the corresponding finger gesture which Owen knew she didn't just mean to symbolize the number.

"Look I've had about enough of this what exactly is your problem with me? Since I met you you've done nothing but shout, criticize and everything short of actually telling me you hate me..."

"I do hate you" Natasha quickly put in, in her calm matter of fact tone.

"Why?" asked an exasperated Owen "You don't even know me, how can you hate me this much?"

"Because you hurt her" said Natasha, something almost akin to tears in her eyes but not quite. "Because...you hurt her, all the time. And you, you scorn her love; repel it from you like it's somehow unworthy. And what does she do? She loves you all the same, she stands on the sidelines waiting, constantly waiting. Waiting from you to see her, waiting for you to show her just one glimmer of affection in return."

Natasha stood in front of Owen now, inches from his face and looking at him with deep hatred.

"That's why I hate you and if you had any shred of decency in you, then you'd never have had to ask – you'd have seen for yourself. But then you always just took her for granted didn't you?"

Owen felt these last words slice through him and cut him deep inside his chest. He turned his head around and over his shoulder gazed mournfully back at the stunning new version of Toshiko. _It's all true you never once stopped to look at her. Really look at her _he said to himself.

Natasha had moved away in the opposite direction. The heels of her boots made clanging sounds on the metal grids as she walked over to the station next to Owen's and pronounced with an air of unconcealed confusion

"Who the hell is this?"

Owen spun around slowly and walked over to where she was standing. Even with her high heeled boots on she was still relatively small and so it was easy as he got closer to peer over her head and see who she was looking at.

He saw sitting laid back with an easy smug grin on his face...someone he'd never seen before in his life. A youngish man with red hair was sprawled back in his seat, feet on his desk and clearly looking across the room at something. Owen followed his glance and sure enough he was looking at Toshiko as well. An unwelcome feeling of unexplained hostility towards this unknown man rushed up in him. The look in his eyes as he watched Toshiko hid a sinister sense of power and ownership which made Owen angry. _Who the hell does he think he is?_

Natasha was peering intently at this red haired, young devil may care stranger who seemed very much at home here in Torchwood.

"Something..." Natasha broke off as she bent down to squint at this man's computer, then she sprung up, bent over the desk again looked intently at the radio clock on his desk, stood up again and looked around her eyes darting about the place and speaking slowly and distractedly said "...something is very very wrong here."

"How do you mean?" asked Owen.

"He..." Natasha pointed absently to the man at the desk while she continued to eye the hub now looking up the water tower and down to the rift manipulator, "...isn't supposed to be here."

"How do you know, if you're saying this is an alternate timeline then perhaps this tosser here somehow happens to just be part of the new team here in this universe?"

"Because I scanned the entire timeline and nothing like this is supposed to happen here, you pretty much remain you usual charming acrid self and not this more pliable pathetic one you appear to be other there. Something about this is different, it's been manipulated and it all centres on this person here. Strange the energy and blankness coming off him remind me of your own warped timeline."

Owen didn't really understand what she was talking about anymore and so just switched off and once again, like a flame to a moth, his eyes were drawn to the frozen beautiful Toshiko.

Natasha was pacing again though, deeply troubled and then stopped.

"Oh no...oh I have such a bad feeling I know what's happened here." Sighing she held up her hand to sweep it through the air "Well only one way to find out" and as her arm sliced the air movement suddenly returned all around them.

Owen was jolted from his silent gazing as everything around him, at the click of a button it seemed to him, became animated again. People weren't rushing around so fast that he couldn't see them this time, they were moving at about the speed images move when you hit fast forward on a DVD. Sound was back too only the speech was far too garbled and fast for Owen to make any sense out of it. However from the intense look on her face it seemed Natasha could not only hear what they were saying but was listening intently to the conversation.

Owen found it all a bit disorientating the way everything was happening around and there he was stuck in the middle in slow time it would seem, like he was in the eye of a storm. He was reminded of the infamous ghost machine and in many ways this was like that, him watching events beyond his control take place around him. He shuddered; thinking of the ghost machine was never a nice thing.

Gwen had now emerged and was embracing the rest of the team and then even though this was all double time Owen clearly saw her stop and stare at the red haired stranger. It was clear she didn't know who he was and as he came up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder, everything froze once more.

Natasha walking carefully over to them, her hand outstretched and growing anxiety etched on her face. She stopped inches away and reached out to place her hand gently over the stranger's one. It seemed to Owen like hours before Natasha would actually touch him, the suspense was intense.

Almost as soon as Natasha came into contact with the hand though her own sharply recoiled back like it had been burnt and Natasha let out a sharp deep hissing sound and shrunk back from the pair looking at the stranger. Owen was reminded of his neighbour's psychotic cat; he had exactly the same expression as Natasha had now when he was hissing and scratching and getting ready to attack almost a passerby. Natasha's eyes were filled with the same almost ethereal hatred and fear.

"I should have known" she almost whispered in a husky voice "these parasites leave nothing but destruction in their wake."

"Whoa whoa whoa, parasite? replied Owen confused "Hold on who exactly is this guy then?"

"It's a creature of the void. It's like a virus; it's nothing on its own and only attains form and substance through ingratiating itself into the memories of others. It feeds off them and forces itself upon you and because it's basically a creature of nothing, having no true existence of its own – it can cause irreparably damage to the timelines of the life forms it comes into contact with."

"He's the reason for everything going wrong in my timeline? Is that what you're saying?"

"Yes Owen, I'm afraid that's very much what I'm saying. If they find out about all this they might eradicate you all. These parasites are feared so much that the only way that my superiors know how to deal with it is to remove everything and everyone it comes into contact with from eternity. They will never have existed...anywhere and so the parasite dies or retreats back to the void. Oh this is a disaster....how could did it get here? There can't be that many left."

"Hold on" said Owen, trying to make sure he had caught up with Natasha's fast and frightened ramblings "You're saying that if the "powers that be" find out about this little intruder they are gonna kill all of us? I don't get it how can _he_ being here affect my reality, I've never seen him before – more importantly how is any of this connected with Toshiko's death?"

"Yes Toshiko, that's the goal you're right" replied Natasha seemingly ignoring Owen's questions and was now heading quickly over to the stairs leading up to the boardroom calling over her shoulder "Come on Owen, the parasite doesn't appear in the entirety of this timeline so that means the inestimable Captain Harkness found a way to push him out – we have to find out exactly what he did because that action may have caused the ripple effects on the other timelines."

Owen had no choice but to follow her time was speeding up around them again. Everything was so confusing and now the images around him were starting to unsettle him, Jack with a gun on the stranger trying to cart him off the cells and....Toshiko pulling a gun on him...it didn't make any sense, she seemed to be trying to defend the stranger...._and she was crying._

* * *

He and Natasha were standing at the head of the boardroom observing the unfolding events in real time. Jack was telling them all about what Adam (that's what the parasite called himself was it sneered Natasha _how very apt_) and instructing them to think back before they had all met. To remember who they were and then take the short term amnesia pill in order to forget Adam.

Natasha had bristled when she heard this "Oh of course, I should have seen it. The silver hue....it's locked time."

Owen stood looking at Toshiko and the other Owen sitting across from her also looking at her as he took the amnesia pill. This was all too weird, he couldn't get his head around it, he couldn't....

The inside of his chest felt heavy, he was breathing hard, he felt a sharp throbbing pain pressing against the wall of chest as if something was trying to get out. That's when he breathed in and heard a strangled gulp escaped his lips.

"Owen..." he heard Natasha say gently "...are you...are you crying?"

And he was, not just crying, he was sobbing. The painful heart wrenching sobs that stop you from breathing, the kind of sobs you cry when your heart is breaking. Owen didn't know why he was crying anymore but his vision locked on only one person, his senses only registered one person, Toshiko.

The fragile broken helpless beautiful woman who was sitting there in the chair looking like her world had ended. Owen wanted to reach out to her but couldn't move his arms. All he could do was watch and weep.

_Maths club. Something so reliable about maths. Always the right answer._

_My first flat. I don't have a flat warming. There's no one I want to invite._

_Knowing there has to be more than this. Knowing that I'm special. Waiting for someone to see it._

_I saw it replies Jack _

"I saw it too!" wails Owen. "I must have...surely I..." he trails off tears still running down his face.

_You each have a short term amnesia pill....we have to go back, go back to who we were._

"Idiot, flushing it out of your short term memory won't destroy him. It needs to be handled by those who know how to deal with it. This must be the catalyst." mumbled Natasha who was still against the wall observing the events. But Owen was no longer listening.

Toshiko got up from the table suddenly and changed the screen on the wall to show the cell with the creature. This was the wall Owen and Natasha were in front of, and so as Toshiko rose and stood in front of it gazing up, Owen moved to stand in front of her, invisible.

_I'm going to lose so much_

Toshiko had a bittersweet smile as she gazed up at Adam and Owen began to realise the sting of being invisible, the pain of watching her look at someone else and not him like that.

_You have to let it go_

Owen watched her as she reluctantly took the pill from Jack, he saw how she thought her world was ending. How the only person that could possible love her would no longer be in her life. That she would be forced back to being alone.

"But I'm here Toshiko, I'm right here...I love you" cried Owen desperately and suddenly with an awful clarity he knew it to be true.

"She doesn't see me, please Toshiko look at me. LOOK AT ME."

She placed her head down on her arms and was staring right through him. Everything was fading and blackness was seeping in.

"Come on Owen there's nothing more we can do here – it's over" said Natasha as she tried to drag him away.

"NO" he screamed "NO, I just want her back, please."

He could feel himself being sucked back and away from the fading reality around him but he still saw Toshiko as finally her eyes slowly shut as if she were sleeping. She was disappearing, it was all disappearing and there was nothing he could do.

"Noooooo" his final scream echoed painfully off the vast walls of nothing.


	4. Chapter 4 Time doesn't set

Chapter Four – Time doesn't set

The darkness had enveloped him but Owen didn't care. He was suspended in a vast vacuum of nothing but he felt no fear, only pain and acute grief. He wandered if this was death; Suzie had said that it was just darkness and that it was just you...and a presence in the shadows.

Owen felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise and his body tense as his body unconsciously sensed something in the dark. But even the survival instincts of his body failed to cut through the complete dejection in his heart. He just hung there making no attempt to move accepting his fate. He was dead and he'd lost Toshiko yet again. He shut his eyes. He'd never thought death would be like this. He'd never been religious and had no delusions of a heaven in the clouds with pearly gates. But he'd always imagined that it was like slipping unconscious you would be totally unaware of it. It would be blackness sure, but you wouldn't know it, you wouldn't be hanging there totally aware, able to feel, able to remember.

Owen shut his eyes tighter hoping to will it all away. Maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe there was such a thing as hell. This was it being stuck forever in nothing and haunted by everything you'd done and able to play it over and over in his head. Pure agony shuddered through Owen and he let a cry into the never ending dark of shattering pain.

"You're not dead" said a calm almost gentle voice.

Owen was so startled by it that for the first time he made an attempt to move. He found it was almost impossible to move, the feeling was like trying to move through jelly. There was nothing to grab onto, there was nothing under his feet for him to walk on. In the end he was just flailing around helplessly.

"It's all right Owen, calm down, you're OK" came the soothing voice again.

"What are you?" shouted Owen into the darkness.

"It's me, Natasha" replied the disembodied voice.

Owen strained his neck trying in vain to look around him for the small petite woman but he could discern no other shapes in the dark.

"Where are you?" he screamed, his panic rising.

"I'm here Owen it's OK. You can't see me because we are in the Void, and I haven't quite mastered retaining a human shape outside of the Earth dimensions. So I'm back to my natural state."

"Then what...forget it, I don't care, but what the hell is this place and how did we get here?" replied Owen who had now relapsed back into weary apathy.

"I pulled us into the Void from the timeline we were in, the combined effect of the amnesia pills together with the fluctuating instability of that cowboy Rift Manipulator of yours was gonna do to us what it did to that parasite if we didn't remove ourselves quickly."

"Natasha?" said Owen wearily

"Yes"

"Just shut up and leave me alone" he sighed.

"But don't you want to know how..."

"No, alright, no. I just don't care anymore, what's the point it's not like me can change anything. Tosh is still dead...so I might as well be."

There was silence in the inky black void for one moment, then another until Owen felt that Natasha for once had actually listened to him and did what he asked. Left him alone to ponder an eternity without Toshiko he would be his own personal torturer in this private hell by replaying every minute of his life with Tosh over in his head.

"Yeah but it doesn't have to be like that…" Natasha suddenly started off again as if nothing had happened.

"…I was about to explain that now I know what happened I can fix it. I can save her."

Owen lifted his head up at this and instinctively turned it to look towards the voice but only finding eternal darkness.

"Are you serious?" Owen asked tentatively.

"Of course I am, I have to fix this or I am in serious trouble back with my bosses. If they find out that I've managed to let a parasite contaminate and totally wreck a timeline then they are going to go right ahead and stick me back on Fate Watch with all the other wannabe guardians. Let me tell you Fate Watch is deadly dull, you literally spend years watching paint dry among other equally inconsequential events just to make sure they happen so they perform their function in the role of the pre-ordained time continuum. So stop lounging around feeling sorry for yourself and help me fix this mess and get Toshiko's life back on the track it was meant to."

Owen realised that he hadn't followed most of what Natasha had been saying. It had all gone right over his head but he picked up the last bit clear enough and clung to it avidly like a drowning man grabbing onto a life raft.

"You...can bring Tosh back?" he whispered.

"Yes but it's all down to you whether you fix the timeline, let events run the way they were meant to."

"I'll do anything please...just bring her back."

* * *

The incandescence was crippling and disorientating. From impenetrable black he was engulfed in eye shattering white and hurtled through an unseen vortex at nauseating speed. But before Owen's brain could fully register this wide array of sensations he felt himself come to a halt.

He was standing. In the hub, to be precise he was standing at the plasma screens behind his work station. His vision was still fuzzy from the sharp ride but as the focus was slowly returning he started making sense of the images and information in front of him. It was the last thing they had all been working on until the impromptu arrival of the desperate asylum seeker who had emerged through the rift. The one the team had been forced to run after and neutralise it and had ended in tragedy.

Owen quickly flicked his eyes to the time in the corner of the plasma screen. Only ten minutes before the energy spike would alert the system and they would all be hurtling out of the door without a second thought. Owen felt a painful stab of panic jolt through him, what was he going to do?

_Relax Owen, I've dealt with it._

"Natasha?" Owen whispered incredulously.

_Shush, they'll hear you talking and think you've gone crazy. Just keep staring at the screen and listen._

"Did you say something Owen?" called Gwen from the gangway leading out of Jack's office. She'd obviously had her head buried in some file and looked up as she walked overhead of Owen.

"Nah, nothing" he replied jovially.

"You want to be careful you, talking to yourself – first sign of madness" she said as she walked off.

Owen smiled to himself. Oh I'm well past the first sign believe me, he thought to himself.

_I can hear your thoughts you know, so stop messing around and listen to me and respond through your thoughts. _

Nice to see your charming approachable nature hasn't disappeared even though the rest of you has, Owen thought as he returned his eyes, though not his attention, to the screen in front of him.

_Oh yes and your wonderful side-splitting cynical satire wit is still intact too, how marvellous. Now listen, now we know what happened I was able to remove the parasite properly. Jack's disastrous attempt to spell him out of your universe forced his fractured being to take refuge in your infernal rift-manipulator. In so doing his ebbing powers of reality manipulation were absorbed and then pumped out across the parallel universes through the rift opening up seams, tears and cracks which allowed a multitude of possibilities to exist where they had no right to. _

That's fascinating, replied Owen, but how does this all affect Tosh?

_Oh I am so not gonna miss your constant interruptions you annoying twerp. It affects her like this; one of the things that were altered thanks to the parasite's contamination of the rift manipulator was for the rift to be momentarily opened to allow that alien through in the next few minutes. The first event in the chain that links to Toshiko's untimely death. It will now not happen. _

So everything will play out not like it was meant to?

_That is entirely up to you. I can only fix the external interferences of the timelines, but you're inside. You're living this reality. You have the ability to affect Toshiko's life in ways I can never dream of. You have the power of Toshiko's destiny in your hands. _

_Don't let her down._

Natasha's last words were branded into Owen's brain as he felt her presence disappear. He was left alone, finally and everything just felt so...normal again. It was like he'd woken up from one long endless nightmare. Everything was back to what it should be. Except now he felt a powerful weight upon him. It was up to him what the future would be, what her future would be. He sighed and slumped his head over and leaned against the screen. No one, least of him should have such a responsibility he thought.

He felt a gentle, tentative hand touch the back of his shoulder and he turned around slowly. Toshiko stood looking up at him concern etched into her face and smiling timidly held up in front of her an offering of a sandwich.

"Hey, I thought you might..." she began but was cut off.

On seeing her suddenly before him, alive and real, his soul cried out to touch her, to hold her to him. He flung himself towards her and caught her up in a vice like hug. He felt himself nearly sucking the breath out of her but he still held on tight trying almost to imprint her onto himself, to test that she really was alive in his arms and not dead on a floor somewhere.

"OK...can't...breathe..." gasped Toshiko

All of a sudden Owen released her and she fell back panting heavily and staring at Owen as if he'd gone mad.

"Oh Tosh, I'm sorry, "Owen replied quickly "I just...I don't know...felt like a hug" and gave one of his lopsided cheeky boy grins.

"Um...OK" said Tosh, who Owen could see was squirming under a mixture of elation and embarrassment.

"But er...you might have wanted to wait till after I put the food down" she said and indicated with her eyes to look down.

Owen had his eyes trace down from Tosh's flushing face until they fell onto the huge stain spread over her chest. When Owen had grabbed her he'd forgotten about the sandwich she was holding out to him and now he realised that he must have forced the plate back up and pressed it into her chest. The remains of the sandwich were now splattered all over her top.

"Oh my god Tosh I'm so sorry, I didn't...oh I'm such an idiot" said Owen.

"No, no really it's alright, I'm sure I can get it out," rushed out Tosh who was now walking over to her station, trying to wipe the food and stain off her top.

"Tosh I'm so sorry, look I'll make it up to you, I'll buy you a new top."

"That's really sweet Owen, but seriously it's fine."

"No it's not fine, I'm buying you a new top. No wait, I'll buy you a new dress instead much better."

"A dress? Oh come on Owen there's no need to go all dramatic, I'll wash this and it'll be fine. Let's just get forget about it OK" replied Tosh who just wanted the conversation to end so she could crawl off somewhere and die of embarrassment. Owen was clearly just trying to be nice in order to stop being guilty and she really wished he'd stop.

"What day is it today?" Owen suddenly asked which caught Tosh completely by surprise.

"Um it's Saturday, why?"

"Saturday...brilliant" Owen spun around grabbed his leather jacket off his chair and his keys off his desk and headed over to Toshiko, "Then we can go into Town, come on Tosh put on your coat" he said as he held it out for her.

"Are you serious?" she said

"What? The others can handle it all till we get back, besides we are entitled to a lunch break."

There was the lopsided grin again and sparks of excitement rushed through Toshiko. She had no idea what had come over him but she decided to go with this good mood of his until it ran out. She shrugged on her coat and grabbed her bag and followed Owen over to the huge revolving cog door.

"Hey, where you kids off to" called Jack from just outside his office.

"Lunch" called back Owen without stopping and without looking round "See you in a couple of hours."

* * *

Over an hour later and Owen and Tosh were sitting opposite each other at a table in the heaving Cardiff shopping centre food court. Trays of discarded junk food wrappers lay between them and Tosh was engrossed in her strawberry milkshake which for some reason Owen found he couldn't stop smiling at.

"What are you 12?" he laughed

"Shut up, it was your idea – after all this is a perfect Saturday afternoon activity for a teenager, I'm just playing along" grinned Toshiko as she twiddled the straw of her milkshake in her hand.

To think that in another life Owen had watched Tosh die not far from this spot at this exact moment. And now look at her, her face was lit up with laughter and her eyes sparkled with mischief. She looked adorable, he thought. Why had he never seen it before?

"Yeah well I must admit it's not the usual place I bring people on first date but I'm afraid this is all I could manage at the moment" he said.

Toshiko looked at him dumbstruck. "What?"

"First date – I'm usually a lot more classy, though I thought I bought back a few points with the dress" he said, his eyebrows flicking up suggestively.

As soon as they had arrived Owen insisted on marching Tosh to the one of the most expensive clothes shops and all but holding her hostage in the shop till she had tried on something. In the end after much arguing on both sides Tosh had reluctantly agreed to let Owen buy her a sedate, moderate though ultimately gorgeous black silk blouse dress on the age old argument that she would be able to use it for work as well.

"Look Owen if this is about the dress then really that more than enough, really way more. Don't feel like you have to ask me out simply because you accidently spilled something on me. Please, I'd rather you didn't."

"Tosh I'm not asking you because of that, I'm asking you because I want to."

"No you don't, you're just being polite."

"Tosh when have you ever known me to be polite?" laughed Owen "Come on Tosh, all I'm asking for is a chance. One date. A proper one this time, I promise."

Tosh smiled but was still hesitant.

"It'll give you a chance to wear the dress" he said suggestively.

"Fine. One date that's all" she replied firmly, though her heart was almost leaping out her chest.

"Let's get back to the hub before they come looking for us" she said, mustering all her self control in order to appear calm when all she really wanted to do was shout from the roof in exultation.

Owen smiled as he led her away, back to the car and back to Torchwood.


	5. Epilogue

**A/N: Here finally is the conclusion of this tale. I apologise to my two or three readers for making them wait so long, I am very slow. But I promise not to leave it so long in the future. Also a quick note to anyone reading this who hasn't read my other story called "Just Once" - this chapter in particular will be more effective if you read that story first. It is after all how it played out in my head when I was writing. Thank you and I hope you enjoy my meagre attempt at writing. **

* * *

Epilogue

It was now just under a month ago since their lunchtime junk food fuelled first date. Owen laid back and stared up at the ceiling basking in the feeling of blissful peace and happiness. He turned his head to the side and saw Toshiko's gentle sleeping head resting on the pillow next to him.

He moved gently so as to kiss her forehead without waking her and saw her drowsily snuggle deeper into the embrace of the pillow. Owen felt his heart tug as he watched her. She was so beautiful and as his mind cast back over the delightful images of last night he smiled to himself as he revelled in discovering Toshiko's wild passionate nature.

The night had started like any other, the past few weeks Tosh and Owen had both been surprised at how much they genuinely enjoyed being in each other's company outside of work. One date soon turned into too many to count until last night after a sparkling evening at a restaurant by the bay, followed by some sneakily planned midnight balcony dancing arranged beforehand by Owen. It wasn't long before Tosh her head resting on Owen's shoulder whispered to him that perhaps they should head back to her place.

On arrival though Owen sensed that perhaps Tosh may have just got caught up in the romance of the moment as she now seemed increasingly nervous now they were actually sitting next to each other in her flat on her sofa. The tension began to pile on as they continued to just sit there not touching each other, each waiting for the other to speak. Owen was just about to get up and say he'd leave and see her tomorrow when Tosh practically jumped onto him, straddling him and pushing him back into the sofa. The kiss was beyond intense, it was all consuming and from that moment on Owen could only remember flashes of images, rushes of sensations.

He remembered the desperate, chaotic stripping of clothes in the living room. He remembered lifting Tosh and carrying her to the bed. He remembered hours of riving around in ecstasy and rapture in what had to be the best night of his pathetic life.

He remembered all this as he lay there gazing at the sleeping Toshiko. His head was still buzzing from the electrifying love making and his body was all shaky. He got up and carefully and quietly went to the bathroom to have a long shower.

A while later he emerged from the shower, grabbed a towel and began to dry himself, he suddenly smiled to himself for he felt inexplicably compelled to see Tosh again even though he'd only just left her a few minutes ago. It seemed like his entire ability to be happy now depended on being near her, like a magnet he was drawn towards her and there was nothing her could do about it. Thank god for that, he thought to himself as he wrapped the towel carelessly around his waist and rushed into the bedroom.

But he saw that the bed was empty. She must have got up he thought as he turned and walked over to the door leading into Tosh's lounge. In the middle of the room, completely dressed (making Owen think he must have been in that shower a lot longer than he thought) and with her back to him stood Tosh.

"Tosh?" he asked gently.

She seemed to tense at his voice but remained turned from him.

"What you up to in here?" he asked laughingly thinking she was acting rather oddly.

At that she slowly turned around and faced in and Owen saw with surprise that she had tear clouding her eyes. Before he could speak she was across the room and clinging to him like she hadn't seen him for years, desperately trying to see that he was real. She caught his face in her hands and stared up at him.

"It's you. You're really here" she cried out, tears running freely down her face now and her hands now stroking his face.

"I'm so sorry" she whispered over and over "please forgive me."

Owen was alarmed, what had happened to her to send her into such a state? Why did she feel the need for him to forgive _her? _The pain and misery he saw etched into Tosh's countenance tore at him like a knife. He realised that seeing her cry hurt him more than he could bear. A million questions buzzing in his head and with only a desire to comfort Tosh he finally spoke.

"Shush Tosh, babe. What's the matter? What's wrong?" he said soothingly.

It was inadequate he felt, he wanted to say more, he wanted to take the pain away and stop seeing that awful despair in her face but he didn't have the words. He gently rocked her in his arms trying to ease away her pain desperately trying to show her how much he cared about her. He fervently hoped that this wasn't the start of the end. Had he somehow managed to mess up Tosh's life even worse than before? Had the last few glorious weeks, the happiest he had ever known all somehow gone wrong? Had he somehow hurt her again? The questions were a torment in his brain until he could no longer bear it. Grabbing hold of her arms he stared down into her face.

"Tosh, tell me what's wrong, please" he pleaded.

He then saw Toshiko's expression undergo a gradual change. The despair was slipping away and a beautiful smile was replacing it but in her eyes there was still the faintest trace of sadness.

"Nothing, Nothing at all, I just can't believe we finally made it" Tosh said hastily wiping tears away from her face with the back of her hand.

Owen gave a huge sigh of relief. Everything was fine. Tosh was happy. He felt his face beam in delight and his hands wander up from the top of her arms and rest in the hollows of her neck and gently massage her shoulders. Her skin had an electrifying effect on him, this simple touch was sending him crazy. Not for the first time he thought about what a fool he was never to have noticed Tosh before now, not now he literally couldn't live without her.

"Yeah well, the sexual tension over the last couple of months was unbearable, I had to jump you otherwise I was in serious trouble of doing myself an injury" he said laughing slightly.

"Who knew that first date was gonna lead to last night? I mean WOW, Miss Sato you've been holding out on us all. Who knew what an animal was hidden behind those cold glasses of yours?"

He saw a little blush light up her face at his words, his adorable shy little Tosh. She seemed almost light-headed as she seemed to cling to him even tighter for fear of falling over. The increased contact sent bolts of pleasure running through his blood and his mind ran to wicked pleasurable thoughts. He slid one hand down her beautiful curvaceous back to press her to him and the other up and around the nape of her neck.

He paused only a second to drink in the beauty of her face and then he pulled her towards him and gently kissed her. He'd only meant it to be a quick gentle kiss but the moment he touched her lips a wave of pleasurable recognition seemed to course through him. He heard her gently sigh and lean into him and it became his undoing. His brain went wild with desire, he tried to wrap her around him, lose his own weaker self inside her. He intensified the kiss wanting, no needing to taste her sweet mouth but it didn't satiate his need, only enflamed it. They remained locked in passion for what seemed like hours when he heard Tosh's moan against his mouth and her hands twining and gripping roughly in his hair he thought he could die of pleasure right there. God how he loved it when she moaned like that, the pleasure it suddenly sparked in him was so sharp it was almost painful.

He left her lips and trailed kisses down her neck as he heard her gasp for air after the intense kiss. He was like a man possessed, entranced by her skin until some primal urge took over him and he playfully bit her shoulder. He wanted to devour her, now.

"Well, what do we do now?" he said raising an eyebrow and looking at her with his arms locked round her waist in a vice like grip.

"Kiss me again" said a panting smiling Toshiko.

"Oh I think I can do better than that" he said and smoothly scooped her up in his arms and carried her back through to the bedroom where he threw them both onto the bed. Toshiko was clearly overjoyed and her bubbly uncontrollable laughter was like music to Owen's ears as he gently nestled himself on top of her. He began to kiss her slowly and languidly wanting to savour it, to cherish her as the beautiful creature that she was.

A thought of his suddenly came back to him, earlier he thought he couldn't live without her. He now realised it was true. The painful images of her dying in front of him and of her staring straight through her flashed through his mind again and he realised that he could never ever now be apart from the beautiful, fragile, brilliant woman beneath him.

He lifted his face to look down at her and could no longer contain himself he blurted out

"I love you."

He saw Toshiko's shocked expression but he couldn't stop himself now. He was meant to be saving Tosh and making her happy, that was the deal Natasha had made him. But he realised that he was also trying to save himself. Only through loving her had he attained peace and actually been...happy. He'd never been truly happy and after all those years of empty misery the thought of losing it scared him more than anything. He knew he was being selfish, knew that he was nowhere near good enough for her but he couldn't stop himself. He needed her.

"Damn it Tosh, I'm no good at this romantic shit, all the pointless things people say, the bloody poems or what have you but I need to say...well...that is I want you to know..."

He stopped, frustrated with himself and unable to phrase exactly what he wanted to say. He dropped his head down and this now meant that the top of his head was closest to Toshiko. On an impulse, an instinctive need to comfort him, she lightly kissed the crown of his head. Owen seemed to take solace in this for Toshiko could hear him let out a chuckle heavy with wonder. Suddenly he snapped his head back up, his face inches from her own, his hands gently but firmly framing her face. He looked down at her with a look close to agony.

"I need you so much Tosh. I adore everything about you and I'm sorry for all the times I've hurt you, God knows it was far too many. I was such a blind idiot, I just never thought I'd ever find that person I so desperately needed. But it was you all along, I see it now and I'm not gonna let go for the rest of my life."

No longer able to control himself he bent down and kissed her again more urgently this time and with his lips still on hers he began to speak with desperate longing in his voice

"Please Tosh...save me...marry me" he groaned punctuating each phrase with his demanding kiss.

He seemed unable to stop the kiss instead he seemed to increase it, crushing her to him as if he were afraid to let her answer. Afraid she might reject him.

Such was the power of this all consuming kiss Toshiko was able only just to breathe but she couldn't do much else. She couldn't form any words or sounds of assent and so with no other options Toshiko simply started to nod her head, as much as the kiss allowed. As Owen felt the gentle movement his brain began to register what it meant. She was saying yes! He stopped the kiss, rested his forehead against hers and gazed happily into her eyes, excitement rising in his voice.

"Really Tosh? Oh this is amazing, I was so fucking scared you were gonna say no. I mean I know it all seems a bit of a rush but what's the point in waiting? Life is far too short, we know that more than most right."

"You sure you aren't just asking me because of the fantastic sex?" she said.

Owen couldn't believe his ears, she was truly amazing and he found himself in uncontrollable laughter. It lightened his soul and he couldn't believe his good fortune that he was not only not going to be alone anymore, but that he would share his life with Toshiko – his soulmate. He thought happily to himself that nothing else matters apart from that. Being with the one who will complete you and make you happy, everything else is purely optional he thought smiling to himself.

"You've found me out, how intelligent you really are Mrs Harper" purred Owen as he sank into her neck and started to kiss her all over again.

* * *

"_You really don't like playing with the rules do you?" said a voice in the ether._

"_Oh come on, I didn't do anything" said Natasha to her friend_

"_You know what the elders say about messing around with the timelines it's no joke you know._

"_Relax, they aren't going to know. Admittedly I may have re-arranged a few things to make the environment right but they did it all themselves, just like I told him they are the ones who hold the true power to the timelines."_

"_Hmmm good thing he didn't realise how true it was."_

_A pause_

"_I still can't believe you got him to believe the fairy godmother line" the voice laughed._

"_I know, these humans are so suggestible" laughed Natasha._

"_Well" she sighed after a while "It's up to them now, all we can do is watch and wait."_

"_Like always" replied the voice and once again the ether returned to dark and silence._


End file.
